The Three Calamities

And after a long long time, I thought I will post something. A hell lot of events and drama unfolded in about an year that kept me away from this space. Many a time I sat in front of my laptop trying to carve out something onto this canvas, but nothing got realised. Today, in this cool pleasant evening, I thought its time I should write something. Not that I have run out of topics, in fact there's a lot of to talk about, I thought I will just share a few thoughts on few things. Even though I have titled my post as my take on some calamities, certainly for sure, all the incidents that I have bothered to poke on necessarily aren't calamities as such :).

Since decades, Kashmir and kashmiris   have been on the receiving end in the  political and social fronts and the valley has undergone gruel some test of time. If human misdoings weren't enough, now nature has thrust its fury upon the helpless to pile upon the misery. But a lot of interesting things came into forefront. The so called symapthesizers never turned in to wipe the tears of the needy, in fact they seemed to have vanished. The much 'hated' and 'savage' Indian armed forces pitched in for help. It was not only army, but localities as well as others too pitched on to do their bit. There is nothing new about the handicapped infrastructure or never existing preventive mechanisms that always fail us in these scenarios, but what startled me was initially it was solely Indian army who was involved in search and rescue operations. Nobody said no when army pitched in for evacuation operations  but to follow, there were bunch of critics who found armed forces' operations insufficient and inefficient at times. I don't know what exactly is the ground truth, but I certainly feel something is better than nothing. Till date I have not seen or heard from any symapthesizers  regarding the plight of the people of Kashmir owing to the devastating floods. Probably the logic may be the bodies drowned by floods is nothing sensational compared to the ones downed by bullets.

Well the next news is I got married. Not heeding ears to the sincere requests and warnings from my friends who are already encaged, I decided I will join the bandwagon. As of now the ride seems smooth, and I do expects bumps and gutters in the way forward. Hope I would be able to handle them well and move forward with conviction. The days seem to be running away and time seems to be always a step ahead of me. Early days into the new stage of life and I hope things will settle down with time.

Peruchaazhi is the latest malayalam movie of the legendary actor Mohanlal. I don't feel like reviewing the movie here but would touch open my feelings about the same. The intro was good, Mohanlal was at his usual best, so were the others. The movie had some wonderful moments , some ordinary moments and towards the end some embarrassing moments. I can't say it was bad, but I just felt numb at times thinking how immature the film maker expects the audience to be. I do understand the movie had a statutory warning requesting the audience to switch off their logic, but I felt they should have replaced the word 'logic' with 'sense'  in the warning. Another sequence from the movie which held me pondering was when the hero lavishly drapes an American flag as dhoti and unleashes his martial skills. I wondered what would have been the scenario had it been Tom Cruise draped in Indian tri color in a Hollywood movie. Our media houses would have celebrated it at least for a month. I am neither criticising nor vindicating anyone regarding this matter ( couldn't find a better statement to be on the safer side :) )

That's all for the day, just a few thoughts that I thought I would share. Awaiting new adventures in the seas as my ship has embarked on a new journey.

I Fear To Write

I fear to write
For, my pen is no longer the sword
that had the fire of justice in every word;
My words appear framed,
Something that cant be tamed.

I fear to speak
For, it no longer represents the masses' voice;
And I have no choice,
But to sit lame and dump.

I fear to paint
For, what comes out in canvas
is no longer a beautiful flower in the vase;
It could burn down a town
And so I remain, pinned  down.

I fear to dance
For, its no longer an art;
I would be banished as a concubine
The one who strips near the table where you dine and wine.

I fear to live

For, with every passing day, I feel more in pain;

I see myself tied up in chain;

But I can't die,

coz, Big Brother is watching

Big Brother is watching.

Dedicated to those who had to put off their spark of creativity out of fear 

The Epic Fall of a Legend: Lance Armstrong

At the very outset, let me tell you,I am too confused and perplexed if I am right about the title that I have chosen for this post. I have no doubts about the "Epic Fall", but I am quite bewildered about the word "legend" and its appropriateness when woven along with Lance Armstrong. Its not about a sportsman being kicked out on account of doping, its about the disgrace and defacing of a persona who has been the face of a sport for a long time.

The Callous Side

This post has been due for some time. There has been a tussle goin on for a few weeks now, a bitter one between my self confessed procrastination and a never ending itch to write. This is not the first time I have hosted these fights, but my pen had never before endured such a long struggle to come out victorious. On July 26th morning, another usual bright morning at office, I was skimming  through the online news papers when one headline caught my eye. Thankfully it was not another media sensationalized sexual abuse incident, but much worse. "Newborn dies as father couldn't pay Rs. 200 for incubator". I didn't want to read the details; who would want to begin his/ her day with such a heart wrenching news matter.

Magnificent Mary

I don't remember the day when I read in print media about an Indian woman winning the world boxing championship for the fifth time. it wasn't a big news either, just a small article at the last page. I didn't remember her name, but I remembered that media or in fact boxing world had rechristened her as "Magnificent Mary". Some days back when the Olympics began, as everyone else, I too joined the bandwagon of well wishers for the team.

We slipped,limped, but somehow managed three medals even though none of them were gold. Then came the event of women's boxing and all the news media had one name to chant,'Mary Kom'. By the time, she cleared the first round, she was everywhere in the news, even international news media covered her victory. I was just amused; "Who is this lady?, is she so great that even the westerner's hail about her?". After a little bit of R&D, I came to know much more about her, a mother of two; five times world champion, residing in an old national games village quarter; was about to retire, but continued due to her husband's insistence and obviously the medal hope of India.

An Eyeopener

"When a movie amuses you, its an entertainer; when a movie makes you think, its an experience"

A few months back, I don't remember the date, I don't remember the day; the only thing I remembered was I "paid" an amount equivalent to hardly one-tenth of my monthly salary to a charitable organization (Till yesterday, it was a payment for me, not a donation). Don't count me for a messaih because I had not done it out of charity, not out of a clear conviction that indeed I am doing an extremely small part towards a better life for someone; It was an accident( a pleasant one I would call it now).

That sunday fine morning when I was busy having some fun time with friends, I heard a knock at the door. One of my friends had gone out to fetch breakfast, expecting him I opened the door only to find a strange but smiling face. He was a student working as a part time volunteer for an organisation called CARE INDIA which worked for the upliftment of the downtrodden. He was explaining their various programmes and we were bored to hell. We just wanted to get rid of him somehow, a weekend never seemed to be a good time for charity. Initially we thought we would dispose him with some hundred bucks, but it seemed  the programme was to provide health care for some HIV infected kids in Andhra Pradesh and so the initial amount was really high. I was not moved at all since these stories were always on the air and people run all melodrama for snatching money in the name of some or the other cause. We put forth some probing questions and when he started promptly answering them, we told him we were short of money now and if he comes after two-three days, may be we would consider paying for the cause. We had performed more than enough so that he realizes we were disgusted with his very presence, forget what his purpose was.

The girl with the RJ tag

Its been a long time since I spent some time over here. My pen seemed to have stopped spilling ink. I sat days starring at my blog without typing anything. So now,  as my eyes flirt with the elegant night lights of Bangalore,  I  put in a committed effort to break out of the jinx, I try hard not to lose myself,  vehemently fight not to get drowned in the trivialities of life.
The music that soothened my ears came from a radio channel. Usually I prefer not to give ears to the blabber of RJs, but I always appreciated their ability to keep words pouring in with loads of energy. As the sweet voice of the anchor created a cozy ambience, I noticed that she was talking about "falling out of love ". I had quite a lot heard about falling in love,  but a programme on falling out of it appeared interesting. The most interesting part of the programme was that while the RJ kept sobbing over many callers ' experiences, she would say, " On this note, lets listen to a very romantic song ". I really felt sorry for her. She had some songs lined up to be played and irrespective of the scenario or mood,she had to play them. The callers couldn 't ask for more. A poor chap calls up and says his gf has dumped him and there comes the song for him, 'Ek ladki ko delha toh aisa lagaa...',  well how could that relieve a distressed soul,  I have no idea.

Kabul

"But the game involves only male names. Because, if it's a girl, the name was already chosen". My eyes barely met with the penultimate word that it flirted with a news article on my computer screen. I sat numb with my eyes gouging into oblivion on account of two facts I conjured; Khaled Husseini is nothing less than a pied piper, Hope still seems to be too highly priced a dream for a desolation draped nation.

I was meant to be writing a book review on " A Thousand Splendid Suns" which is another class act from the author, but it would be unfair to constrict the vastitude of human misery defined in the book to be mere heart wrenching. What pains me the most is even after almost 40 years of endless wars and crimes on humanity, Afghanistan remains a blood sucking land and Kabul, a cradle of unfathomable miseries. I have never been to Kabul, but the novel teleports me from my plush mattress to the parched meadows, air conditioned coupe to sun stricken deserts. The endless times of endurance tests are beyond words and sometimes, it is hard to perceive the depth of adaptability cortex wound around human souls that transcends any emotional breakdowns and bypasses savage torture. Its unbelievable what a mass of flesh and bones can withstand in order to survive and realise its hopes.

I winced in pain when the protagonist embraced the lashes, silently wailed when mines chopped off the limbs. When I finally finished  the book, I had a sigh of relief that there will be no more EQ poking, a satisfaction of having read a wonderful piece and more importantly, the assuagement that  after all this is just a story and I just self-abased to pamper some one else's imagination. All of a sudden, when the news article that worded the brutal bombings at Kabul, struck my eyes, I knew; Beyond any veil of words of misery in a novel, beyond any magnifications by the media, there is truth in the pale story of Kabul, there is pain in every street which I might never see, but I feel it. A pain inflicted by humans on humanity with nature watching  silently as if incapacitated by its intensity. Many excuses tabled  and the burden being borne by mute ideologies which are being preached by purblind "saviours". I realise the triviality of my self assurance of existence, how obvious it seems to me that I will be alive tomorrow, how true is Maslow's hierarchy where the base level  meant nothing  more than an academician's delight to me.

But there are some painful similarities between me and a human embodiment in the land of hopes. He has learned to walk past the debris of bodies with indomitable calm, he has learned to sell his artificial leg for a meager meal, he has lost hope of seeing his kin and kith alive tomorrow morning. He has gained strength. I have learned to skim past the pages of truth with indomitable calm, I have learned to tread on others pain without a treble. I proudly claim, with an unashamed conscience, I can feign compassion.

The PRO who never voted

At this moment, when my thoughts are being draped in words, I hear rain drops pelting at the glass pane. I can feel its restlessness, it mirrors what I feel within. When the rains decided to drench a thirsty Bangalore night, I walk into the world of nostalgia, I trace back the steps form this moment to as far as I can go. The drizzle always have had the effect of a vodka in me. It burns in through my memory hole slowly and steadily like a vodka does through your throat. You never gulp vodka, you feel it.

Another hour from now, when people expect me to rejoice the moment which I consider trivial, I am reminded that whatever I do, wherever I am; I cant escape from the clutches of inevitable decay. I am growing on one side whereas at the other end, am decaying. Its been twenty four years since the unique moment when I cried and my mother smiled. At the penultimate hour of twenty three years since my first breath; the rain makes me skim through all those moments that I have shelved at various phases. The latest one that tickles my funny bone took place almost six months back.

Since I am a government employee, I am obliged to serve the country in various ways. But at the age of twenty three, I never ever imagined that I would have to conduct a poll. The heat of BBMP elections were at its peak and all the posters and banners ensured that none of the walls in Bangalore were spared. But, I was least bothered. To put it frankly, I have been an irresponsible cribbing citizen of this country who never casted a vote even though I had three chances. I never considered it worth enough to be a part of the democratic process, not that I dont believe in it, but my lethargy always surpasses my duties by yards. So BBMP elections were not even in my distraction list that could eat up a few minutes of my life. And all of a sudden, I came to know that I am appointed as the presiding officer (PRO) in a particular booth during this elections. My vocabulary fails to express the agonising moments I went through, the agony of a person who has never seen a ballot box and has to conduct the polls.

I had to attend a training session two days prior to the elections. Most of the sessions were in the domestic language and even the handouts conveyed the information in the same. Since the native language appeared nothing better than Greek to me, one can imagine what I would have learned during that day. The day before the elections, I reported at a school where I met my other "team members" (Polling officer and two assistants). Fortunately, they belonged to the same state and luckily for me, they could follow English. I thought I could communicate with the voters at the booth through these people. Finally, after a long wait, I was given the ballot box and other components. So there, I had my first rendezvous with the device that tracked a nation's destiny.

We moved on to our polling booth. It was already evening by then and even the twilight bid adieu while we arranged the room for the next day's election. I knew I had to fill up a hell lot of forms and so I pulled out the bundle of forms to fill them one by one. Once I went through the forms, I had a smile on my face. I realised, you smile only on two cases, either when you are satisfied, or when you are sad beyond reconciliation. None of the forms were in English, not even the numerals in the forms. I think my smile doesn't need an explanation now. My team mates sprang into action and they started filling out all the forms. I kept signing at various places where ever they asked me to. I had a face of helplessness, my destiny were in their hands. I spent a sleepless night. Tension crept in within me with every passing moment.

Next day, somehow I managed to start the elections on time; thanks to the various political party agents at my polling booth, they were very co-operative and in turn eased the pressure on me whereas they could have easily capitalised on my inexperience. At the end of the day , I thanked them for helping me out and then wrapped up the ballot boxes and other components along with all the forms and files. Then we moved on to the depositing area. I was shocked to see the scene there, it appeared more like a wrestling arena with people trying to dispose their ballot boxes soon and get off. I waited for my turn and after almost two hours, the ballot box and other items were taken from me and I was relieved. I thanked my team mates and then boarded the bus back to my house. I was feeling relieved and happy. On my way back, I had the rain to accompany my thoughts as I have now. I was thinking, maybe I am the first person in the history of Indian democracy who conducted an election even before casting his vote; "The PRO who never voted"

64 and Beyond

This Sunday morning had some peculiarities when I bring in other days into perspective. The first thing I noted was , I had my eyes wide open at 6 in the morning; I was having a stroll with my friend when I should be craving for warmth under my blanket. It would be hard to pick up another such day from the scrap of my memory when I was this unfortunate (Not that I was with my friend, but I was out of bed). Other than this trivial personal mini anecdote, the day was important as my country celebrated her 64th anniversary as a free state.

The Independence day had always given me reasons for joy at various phases of my life. During my school days, I never missed the session at school on this particular day. It was the thrill of getting a flag badge along with the sweets, once the programme was over, that enthralled me. All vehicles had the tricolours hung on them. I knew Prime Minister delivers a speech on that day, but I could never follow it since it always appeared boring and the words "development" and "harmony" were repetitive. Once I was at my college, Independence day meant I can either sleep at home or can watch a movie without having to sacrifice the attendance. The Prime Minister's speech was not even in my minds. I mean how many times can your ears buy a mere verbal distinction.

In the current phase, I am a pessimistic citizen who believes that nothing can be right. Some one rightly quoted," Everyone wants change, but none brings it by themselves". I am a pseudo well wisher of this nation who believes in a radical transformation of our administration system for the good, but prefer to find a seat in the audience. This sunday morning, I was no different. I knew there will be loads of talks on hopes and aspirations and future and finally by the end of the day, we remain where we are.

There is a KG school in my neighbourhood and the day's celebration was on with small kids dancing and singing. I thought this would be interesting and so, had my ears open to the activities running there. Thanks to my laziness , I preferred to 'stay and listen' rather than 'go and watch'. It was the turn of a boy to speak on Independence day. He began his speech in a loud voice which was blend with innocence. He kept speaking whatever he had memorised last night. I expected it to be another well polished set of un-perceived sentences from him. I could never have blamed him for that since he was too young to know what he was speaking.

My prejudiced perspective was jolted when I heard him say, "We need to save our country from terrorism". Even though he might not be knowing, what he meant, the statement had its impact on the audience including me. There are many things that hit my head when I heard that child throw out those bunch of words. The first thing was that I realised, how terrorism had become a part of our life that even a four year old kid mentions it. During my kindergarten days, the only "ism" I knew was mannerism, " Dont bite your nails, speak politely to people and bla bla..". But for current budding generation, there are more important terms and hard realities to catch up with, that what I learned during my kindergarten days are what they imbibe in nappy days.

Fifteen years back, our problems were mostly monotonic, we had to bring down poverty levels, stabilise the economy and bring in decent job opportunities for the youth; almost all of them were financial concerns. Now we have variants and sub variants of issues so vast and vivid that one sentence for each of them would make a good essay. We have to root out terrorism, sort out naxalism, dig out corruption and the list goes on...These thoughts kept poking me and all of a sudden, I had an interest to know what Prime Minister had to offer on this Independence day. As expected, he touched up on almost all issues and had all important aspects covered. Later, many pseudo socialists and self proclaimed hypocrite social reformers blasted PM's speech for lacking the punch, most importantly it was sad to know that they were not bothered about the content and purpose. He was indirectly termed as a mere glorified consultant. But contrary to them; more importantly, contrary to my preconceived notion; I felt, his words had a vision. I felt we, as a nation have become more vigilant, atleast more focused on resolving issues. There seems to be purpose in the air rather than just beating around the bush. I feel myself as a witness of an evident transformation, this nation and its leaders undergoing, from an Utopian-altruistic and pseudo-visioned verbal acrobatics to a more focused and pragmatic propaganda for the good. I feel atleast this time around, we are dealing things with a purpose. And to all those who have seriously criticised (through social networks especially) PM for his non-animated speech , I wonder if they expected a Bushesque melodrama at Redfort. I feel those things look better in movies. We are not the people who needs to be motivated. We have had enough of goosebumps, what we need is action and I hope the administration will keep its word.

I am no more damn pessimistic. I strongly believe we can pick ourselves up from the filth of problems and we are already on the process. Ultimately, when a 60+ Prime Minister and a 5- kid of one nation share the same wavelength on a national issue, I am sure, the future is not bleak...

The 4th idiot

Maybe this post was meant to be written some weeks back soon after I saw the movie "3 idiots " for the second time, but some other top priorities superseded my attempt. I am not another 'idiot' to sit here and write a review about the movie long after people have given away their verdict. It was a fabulous treat to eye that glued me to my seat for approx. 3 hrs, I am sure I wont find too many people who would differ to that. Especially , the 'Balaathkaar' sequence was breath taking even physically, believe me I still laugh when the scene pokes my mind. But probably I am deviating from my intention, I am not here to glorify the elements that made us laugh and probably still continues to. I wanna talk of an element of the movie that probably went unnoticed, that we never thought about and most likely , that we even laughed at it coz of the way it was portrayed. May be, even I laughed at it for the first time and only that time. But on the next, probably this was the element that triggered in a sort of introspection, it made me think if I was sadistic to the extreme extent; that if I was the "4TH IDIOT", the one on the audience who could appreciate such a thing with a loud laugh.

The scene begins when the colours on the screen fade to black and white and the narration begins. Even though I cant reproduce the exact dialogue, I can remember how the narrative plots a picture of Hari's (Sharmaan Joshi) home and the socio-economic conditions of his family. Of course the scene lead to a laugh riot in the theaters. But my first doubt is , given a condition where I had a friend with such a condition;even if I had to narrate or remember such a situation, I guess and I wish I would never be sarcastic to this limit. The narration could have avoided the comparison with the poverty stricken scenes of movies of 80s, maybe the makers of the movie would have had to compromise a sarcastic comedy verbal filth, but probably they made a mockery out of a million or more poverty stricken families of this country. May be one would feel I am taking it too much out of context; but in a country where a person could be labeled traitor for his comments on a game , I wonder why there was no controversy for having made a complete bizarre scene out of the "Poor India" ( Thank god! at least there was no controversy ).

Its a boon to have a heart big enough to laugh on your own short comings, but cant appreciate when you are sadistically sarcastic about it. I wonder how many would have appreciated it if you were from such a background. A movie even though is only meant for entertainment, does leave an impression within people , maybe a long lasting one. A younger generation, the genre to which I belong,contemplating such a scene, comfortably believe or pretend to, that, maybe this is something how it was in 1980's; but reality is a short drive away from your cosmopolitan metropolis

I have no issues with the movie makers, they meant pure business in which they succeeded if not more, but how do you describe idiots like me who would never know what it means to be living in such a condition. That if someone says she couldn't buy a sari in last two years doesn't mean its all about a mere sari. I pity the "4th idiot" in me who probably doesn't want to see the other side of Dominozz or KFC, who rolls in a 500 rupee note to light a cigarette.

I believe every movie leaves in a message and this one (infact that particular scene) too has left a strong message or a strong impact in me, a positive one, "Never ever be the one who would perceive it that way".

Looking through the glass

Saturday evenings, either I am at home or I would be playing badminton at my campus. But this particular day, I was digging my way out through the notorious Bangalore traffic to catch the bus for my native.Finally I reached the bus station after a long journey which spanned for just a shade under 2 hours. After having dined from a nearby restaurant, I eased on a nearby bench and after some clock ticks, I found my bus at the terminal, I boarded and occupied my seat, as always , a window seat.

I have always loved watching the world through this small window, be it of my house, or of any vehicle am travelling. I get , surprisingly an unconstrained, uninterrupted perception(or perspective) on things my eyes flirt with , even though am looking through a space constrained well bound window. The air conditioned bus , had a transparent glass frame that in turn seemed boundless. Looking through the glass, I felt there was no glass that separated me from outside.

Looking through the glass, I see a child looking at the bus with wonder, I see two tiny eyes with its pupils widened to the max, I would never know the reason behind his lit up eyes, but I recall the moment when I saw a shooting star for the first time.The glitter that was in my eyes is what I see in his. Now I rarely have a look at the sky....The bus kept moving finding its way through the darkness of the night, I kept crawling down my memory lane.

Looking through the glass, I see the 'Hunter' constellation. The last time I ever noticed it , was probably when I was done with my graduation; before that may be at high school when I had heard about it for the first time. During those days, by just having a look at it, I could carve out a stout man out of a few stars. I could carve out spoons out of stars, Australia out of clouds and what not. Now it seems I have lost that power or may be I dont want to, I have lost that sense of wonder. 'Hunter' seems more a graph with 7 nodes and 8 edges than what I saw some eight years back.

Looking through the glass, I feel am looking into me. I had heard about a true incident that happened to a famous violinist who played his magic at New York metro station. People just passed on and never noticed him. The very next day , his show at a New York theatre ran houseful with ticket prices as high as 200$. I couldn't quite imagine how people could be so unappreciative and unaware about such beautiful things happening around. But now I realize it to be a hardly noticed reality.Looking through the glass, I wonder when was the last time I ever noticed that the sky was beautiful.

Looking through the glass, I see my own reflection.Running for the office, get back at night, pounce on something which I dont know is tasty or not, go to bed and repeat the cycle. I probably exist and forget to live. I probably eat to survive rather than enjoy what fills my belly. Somewhere down the lane, I feel I dropped something that I call life, something that I call the real reason.

Looking through the glass, I feel its time I realize what I seem to be losing, I reclaim what I need and not what I want.

The 23rd Shift

Usually this day goes by just as any other day. For past so many years, after I knew I can remember things, when I skim through those pages out of my memory, I dont find an instance when I thought this day meant something to me. I never found a point in celebrating this day, my birthday, but the people at POINTS had different idea. The time had shifted the maturity paradigm of my life by 22 degrees and the whole process had passed off peacefully each and every time; But the 23rd shift was certainly different.

For all those bumps that I missed during my college years, I had to pay a heavy price and this day, I never had an idea what my friends had in store for me. First they dipped me in all possible colours available in the world, then tried punches , football kicks and all acrobatics on my body.But after everything, pain was the only sustaining component, but the paradox was I was happy. I smiled in pain, may be for the first time I was realising even pain can give you happiness.

Then the normal bday fundas with wishes from all the people around, evening treats to friends and the usual cake cutting ceremony. But the most fascinating thing of the day was the gift that I received from my friends. A book exhibition was running at our campus and we had a visit to the place today afternoon. My eyes were flirting through various titles and book covers and suddenly a book titled "THE TAO OF PHYSISCS" caught my eyes. I just moved through its pages and had an outline of its theme. The book was about the Universal laws associated with Physics and its relations with eastern mysticism, probably this has been something I have been searching for a long time. A book that would tel me about the untold relations between spiritualiy and science. I was fascinated by it and thought of buying it. Thats when my friend picked the book and he bought it. He asked me if I am interested and I told him,'Its ok, I wil get another copy later or borrow it from him and read'. To be frank , I did like the book , but was not much disappoined even though I couldn't buy it.

Finally at the end of the day, when I carefully removed the glittery cover that wrapped my gift, my eyes widened with surprise. "THE TAO OF PHYSICS" was smiling at me. Infact , my friends had bought the book for me. The incident broke my insensitivenesss for surprises.I never believed in them when I used to be at the receiving end. This day I knew how a little surprise could fill my heart with happiness. The whole pain that I took for putting the whole incident here at this point of time ,when almost all people around this part of the world would be cuddling under their blankets and strolling in their dream worlds, is more than a proof of how much the whole incident has moved me.

The lesson that I have been learning and learning from all past experiences and still love learning is "How it feels to have good friends"

Thank you guys, you gave me one of the very best days of my life.

My loved one

Its been a fascinating experience to walk with her, never before I have felt or in fact tried to feel that I indeed loved her a lot. Whenever she made her presence feel, I used to stay away from her, I had a sort of inertia that I never wanted to face her. But now when for the first time, she touched me with my full consent, the feeling is beyond words. I repent for I have never tried to appreciate her beauty , her love before.

I still remember those days when I used to swear at her coz she made me feel uncomfortable. She was always posing danger at my zone of comfort. But now she makes that zone of comfort for me. Now when she knocks at my door, I do find time forher. I don't prefer an umbrella coz I feel her love when she drenches me.

I have always been that lazy lad who pulls up his blanket when she is showering her love and I was contented looking at her through the window. At school, I hated her many a time coz she snatched off many of my games periods, the consequence of her presence was evident as patches of brown and peripheral colors on my school wear. My mom hated it and so I hated her. But now after watching her for 22 years through my window, I knew I was missing something all these years. I would always cherish this moment when me and my friends decided to go for a round with our bicycles in our campus and she came running down at us, first in sprinkles and then lots and lots of sprinkles. I wanted to drive fast, but my legs hesitated and maybe I was to experience something that I never did before.

For the first time I knew what it means to feel her in me. People say you know the value of a person only when he/she is off your vicinity zone. She has been around for so many years and I never bothered to acknowledge her presence, even if I did, I did with loads of intimidation and disgust. But now there is a phase shift of 180 degrees. Till the moment I left her and got under a roof, I never felt that I was getting wet. What is wetness when there is nothing dry around. Everything was fresh, the trees, the roads, and that lovely smell from the soil. I did hear that she loves Pune a lot and she puts in a lovely face here frequently like she does at my native. Never before did I ever appreciate her beauty, but now am short of words. She is filling my heart with love and lots of happiness. I look at her, to the heavens from where she comes, and whisper,"I love you".

Bits N Pieces from Pune

I bet I cant find a better scenario to put in a post here. I have been in such relaxed and cool state of mind before , but usually I was confined to my bedroom at home. But here, at Pune , when the breeze 'trickles' through my hair, when the lake and the hills around provide a treat to my eyes , I must say I am somewhere close to heaven. I feel any nonsense that I would write here would make sense given the backup I have got from , maybe the most beautiful place I would ever stay at. Guys note down, This is Khadakwasla , an aesthetic creation from nature blessed with bright sun shine in the mornings, a beautiful lake as if to give that finishing touch to a wonderful painting and a bunch of hills holding it tight from all sides forming the boundary of the canvas.

I have been here now for almost 3 weeks and believe me, I have fallen in love with the place. The late evening cycling to the lake shore and those early morning sun beams that hit my face and wake me up. Even the friends I got here just adds up to the tally. To add , the classes I attend seems to be teaching me a lot new things , it seems to be moulding out a better perspective about life in me, the CATWOE model being one among them.

Nature too has indeed taken pain in refreshing me with some old lessons that I feel I have put in those old back stacks of my mind. The other day I saw an insect/bug trying to climb out of a wash basin. I kept watching it and it was just slipping down each time it tried to climb up. The next morning, the scene was the same. The next day, the next morning, again the bug was fighting its way off the basin. That evening, I saw it out of the basin and lying near to the mirror. Over 45 hours of strenuous battle and it had finally succeeded to make it, most importantly touched that zenith of satisfaction about which we always perceive and feel , probably projecting the intensity of the feel that one would get once you find yourself satisfied. I doubt if any human being ever has been lucky enough to touch that level of satisfaction. We always keep raising our bars which in no way is bad, but the only problem being we are never satisfied even till our last breadth.

I guess am pumping in too much nonsense or matter of eccentricity, maybe this beautiful place is injecting me with a narcotic like thing. I am happy that I have finally put in a verbal acrobatics over here after a long time and swept off the dust from my blog world, even my mind was clogged off with work n stuff, but now I feel to have broken the shackles and started feeling the air of feeling what I term 'happiness'. Do expect more bit n pieces of eccentricity soon.

You MUST see this

I have been unhappy or infact irritated sitting home all the time. No work to do since my course is over and again weeks left before I get into my job. Its all about eating sleeping and chatting and the eventless routine just continues every day But never again, I will complain for this, I feel I am lucky; I HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT, A PLACE TO SLEEP.
If you have ever complained about anything in your life, LOOK AT THE PICTURES BELOW AND YOU WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.








There was one more photograph in my email, but I really don't have the guts even to look at it. Its so horrific, I hope no human being ever would have to face such a brutal reality .
Courtesy: email from Jyotsna P Kadayaprath

Between Dominance and Existence

"Whenever someone exerts his supremacy beyond tolerance, the people looks for an alternative"; its a law that has existed since ages.Whether it is politics, cine field, science or internet, the law holds true.

People were furious with their search engines, they wanted more information at their hands,the players of the industry were incompetent and also ruthless, people were looking for an alternative, a Saviour who could serve their bellies with information that was valid and timely. Thats when Lary Page and Sergey Brin took the task and Google hit the scenes. Since then it has been a success story,all headlines and news papers, magazines and other media hailed Google ,not only for their efficient search engine, but because of their business ethics and user friendliness. I am sure Page and Brin knows it better than anyone. They were the ones who has shown the path of innovation to overcome competition rather than force or power. Infact Google has proven it a hell lot of times.

The result is visible, its the best search engine, also it provides a bunch of extremely good utilities.So why is Google popular?, the answer is anybody's guess. They stand with people and work for the people. But now that statement is being shaded. The latest modification of page rank algorithm has put almost 100,000 bloggers in agony, reason being the tussle between Google and Payperpost metaphorically between an elephant and an ant. Not only Payperpost ,they seem to be cracking down all publishers and advertisers who seem to be a part of what they call,"illegal link marketing".

Google is no more true to what it is known for. Infact it has transformed like every big frim does, it is the super power of internet, so when it raises eyebrows on small players of the game,naturally the spectators line up with the big gun. Maybe this would be the same fate that Payperpost suffers. Its not grown enough to challenge Google, so finally Google would emerge victorious. But as all big firms are, arrogance and domination decided the result here,but that always triggers the downfall too.

Google has grown far enough to find methods to avoid illegal manipulation of page rank by paid link posts. If they had taken any of such measures,people would have embraced it with pleasure. But what have they done, cut down the ranks of Payperpost publishers and advertisers to 0. So people would naturally move out of Payperpost( unquestionably , page rank still rules the bloggosphere) and stick with Google, not because of love with Google, but because of losing out of world's best search engine's result page. The patronism out of love and respect and out of fear stands at extremities.This page rank modification is alleged to be a step taken by Google inorder to avoid any risk to their Adsense scheme( I wonder how far that is true).

None expected 2 graduates from Stanford university to rock the world with their innovation.History can repeat,maybe there can be another such innovation that could root out the pioneer itself. But the order of the day is that Google is no longer an angel now. It has started to use its power and its assured of victory,but not to forget victory out of force doesnt remain forever. Once its dominance would be started to be hated by people, they would look for a new alternative, then their will be a new Saviour,it will take over the world and Google might face what many giants faced by Google's arrival.Probably Google is in its early stages of taking the path of dictatorship,its still loved by people including me.But it would be disheartening if it gets out in terrifying people and the babies of internet and exerts tyranny in the community.

Let Google never forget that "Whenever arrogance decide your decision , Nature rallies against you".

-Varun Krishna, a true patron of Google who feels the firm is triggering a catastrophic transformation to the antonym of its motto ("DO NO EVIL").

The height of pessimism

Having a disbelief in certain things that you do can be justified,probably your past prompts you to feel so,but what would you say when you always feel that you have done something wrong when you almost know you haven't. Its that level of pessimism I am talking about.Wondering who is the maverick who keeps such high levels of pessimism, don't look around anywhere ,its me.

My last semester examination started from this Tuesday and as always,after the first exam,even this time I had something to worry on. It was all fine till I reached home,exam went well and I had written well,but I don't know I have this sort of thought that everything can't go that well together; that's when I put myself into thought if I had written my roll no correctly. Every time I use to check it before I give my answer sheets,this time I remember to have checked everything else other than this.Is it that I forgot to check or is it I forgot that I had checked?, what ever be the thing,my forgetfulness had eaten up a lot of hours till now,I wonder what would happen if I have written it wrongly. Now, the problem is I still keep wondering about it even though I know its of no use now. But as always,some positive things never strike my mind in time.Even today I had an exam, I feel I have written it well.I hope my mind wont again search for something to give me a head ache out of agony and tension. This is not the first time I have put myself in such weird thoughts and started thinking,I shouldn't have done it (may be something I would not have done actually.). One thing is sure,this pessimism keeps me always engaged and I dont get a moment where I feel I am bored. Probably peace of mind is something that we ought to find from within ourselves and that's the art I seem to be lacking.

An inconvenient truth

I hope you are familiar with the title.This was a documentary presented by Mr. Al Gore (the former US presidential candidate) on global warming. Even this post is regarding the same topic.

Today I came across a documentary on this issue in a news channel.It was actually a study based on the effects of global warming in Mumbai. I was really wondering about the ignorance of we people on the catastrophic effects of this menace. Mumbai is actually built on reclamated land and so the effect of global warming would be much severe. Infact the TV program displayed the effect with an example. It mentioned about a sea shore housing apartment which was actually meters away from the sea with a beautiful beach,almost 3-4 years back.But now , the sea is just feets away and there is no beach at all. The sea has taken over the land,one of the un noticed effects of global warming.It is estimated that the sea level would rise by 1 metre by the end of this decade,but its effect has begun to make its presence visible.

The most ridiculous fact is that when people were asked regarding this, some of their replies were," well its after 100 years why should I care?","by that time I would be expired,so I dont think I need to be bothered about it". This not only shows the irresponsibility,but the inertia to accept the fact and do the required.How can we ever create awareness regarding global warming when this is how people respond.

This is basically due to the ignorance that people have in this issue. Infact its not just about the rise in water level,since Mumbai is built over reclamated land and so water encroachment during high tides would be enhanced with time passing by; what happens is that the buildings and apartments at sea shores, especially the basements of these buildings would start to corrode due to salty water of the sea.So once the basements start to corrode, the whole building would come down one day with no pre-indications.The other big change,the climatic irregularities is already visible.
So its time we people be aware of the situation,its not just the people of Mumbai,but the people across the globe need to be aware of this menace. At least now, lets realise the inconvenient truth and gear up to overcome it.
courtesy:CNN-IBN

Filicide

Fil´i`cide
n.1. The act of murdering a son or a daughter; also, parent who commits such a murder.

Definition of Filicide as given in the Webster dictionary.

This is a new term that I learned today. I am happy that I could enhance my word power atleast by a bit by knowing there exists such a word in English language, but I am unhappy by the way I came to know about this word.

I had a much event less morning and noon session today,the usual sleepy session, encounter with books and the usual surfing and chatting..But again by evening,as similar to yesterday, I had a not so good news in store for me when I turned on CNN-IBN news channel.
Before getting into that ,let me narrate a very short story

The main characters are a 14 year old girl,her father and a servant of their house.The girl was said to be having a close relation with the servant (mind you,she is 14 year old).The girl's father is told to be having an extra marital affair which the daughter couldnt digest, even the servant knew it.So when the girl and the servant were discussing the issue, the father came in. He didnt like what was going on there and he took the servant to the terrace ,finished him off and later killed the girl. Finally after so many issues and controversies,the police finally arrests the culprit.

It would make a wonderful story and infact a wonderful movie in Bollywood or Hollywood whereever it is made because one would feel it could miss a bit of reality and there is lot suspense and thrill.But truth at times is stranger than fiction.I would be happy if this was just a story. But what I just narrated is a cruel reality that happened in Noida, New Delhi where a 14 year old girl was brutally murdered by her dad for reasons that itself remains as a black mark to humanity and society. I was initially happy to know that police caught the culprit of the murder case that had created much hip hop and sensation across the nation. But now it might create much more havoc as the culprit is none other than the girl's father, a filicide committed with multiple motives.

I had heard about sacrificing son or daughter to Gods as a present or gift to Gods.Even though the logic was nothing better than nonsense, even this evil practice had a justification.But what happened in Noida is something that doesnt even deserve the word justification.It was nothing new to know that culprit had an extra-marital affair,but its ridiculous that he killed his daughter because she was alleged to be having an affair with the servant.How could he ever expect her to be right when he himself was on the wrong path.I wonder how a father could kill a daughter inorder to satisfy his ego or save his status in the society.It might have a taken him a moment or two to finish her off,but its sad that he never thought of the fourteen years that he had seen of his daughter's. Now I remember the scene from the movie "Armageddon" where Bruce Willis recalls the moments ,that he shared with his daughter ,from the moment she was born to the moment when he left her.Then he presses on the nuclear trigger and the movie just proceeds.

I dont and would never understand the culprit's mentality while he was busy taking the life of her daughter. Why did he raise her up for these many years,to finish her off this way.Well this question might never be answered. But as far I know, humanity is far moving out off humans. We are more machines now and feelings mere words. I hope it would never be too late before we realise that we are far far away from what we are meant to be.

-Varun Krishna