The last day of April,the severity of heat and the dumbness of environment;everything was the same as always.But today it was special,almost ninety percent of my classmates were there to attend the class.It was our last class,the last day at our classroom.So the feel had to be different and it was.The class almost spanned for one hour before which we had a sessional test.After the class,it was the time for calling out our attendance.This was for the last time we would ever shout off our numbers and even I did in a louder voice,"roll no 39".
Now again,no more classrooms in life,no more proxies,no more bunking class. Everything ends here and possibly we have put the final full stop to our college classes. Now its time for gearing up for final exams,projects and stuff. As every person who leaves out of college feels,I too would miss my college.My tag of roll no 39 is taken off from me.The inevitable dusk has finally arrived.
April 30, 2008
April 26, 2008
Saving private ryan
A 1998 classic by Stephen Speilberg that I watched last week.I have to say that am a lucky soul to watch this movie,one of the best I have ever seen in my life.The technical class and perfection of Speilberg movies are ,beyond doubt , marvelous. So even in this movie,that Speilberg class is quite evident . But what makes this movie a very superb one is the way the emotional flow is handled through out the movie.
Its a movie based on the world war 2 and the movie begins with the Normandy invasion. The first 20 minutes is what you have to watch out.I bet you would never ever see a better war scene than this ever in the history of Hollywood. Even inspite of 10 years of its release, no other movie has surpassed the war skills shown in the movie. Tom Hanks as ever is at his best. He is the leader of the group whose mission is to find Ryan a soldier fighting somewhere in France and take him back to his homeland. I remember only one scene in the movie where Tom Hanks weeps and I bet no other actor could perform better. All credits to Speilberg for creating a wonderful movie thats filled with technical class and emotional moments. Next time,do watch this movie before watching any other movie and you will be having the most memorable 2hrs and 41 min of your life.
April 23, 2008
Tweaking utorrent
I have heard many complain about the very low speeds of torrent downloads.So I thought I would share with you the video I looked into that helped me a great deal to improve the torrent speed.Its a video that my friend suggested me to look into, that was found in youtube.Just check out the video carefully and do accordingly.You are suggested to download this video so that you can use it as reference whenever required.
April 21, 2008
Our college days revisited (video)
Its been wonderful,these 4 years that I have spent with my friends in my college.Now at the moment of bidding adieu,I present a video for you thats compiled by my friend.Here I take you through the memory lane,the moments that we shared during our wonderful days at campus,a collection of memories that we all treasure in our hearts.
April 19, 2008
Farewell
It was unexpected ,especially it wasn't expected of Marc,none of his college mates had ever seen him cry.He was a strong and bold character,but despite his emotionless attitude thats well known among his friends,he couldnt control himsilf .It was the farewell event for the outgoing students.He was given a chance to share his feelings,he started off well,but then it seemed more like a confession that he was making.He was opening his heart to the gathering, everyone listened to him and there was pin drop silence in the air.
Four years back when he had stepped into the campus,he had no idea how his life would transform in four years.First year,it was about running away from seniors.Second year,he started to involve in the college culture,getting into student politics , strikes, proposals,love breaks etc.This was the time when he had the puff of a cigarette for the first time,he also tasted beer for the first time.As days and months passed by,the intensity of activity in these areas of interest kept on aggravating.He had become more an emotionless creature.He never found anything wrong in beating up his clasmates for his student group.He had his justifications which which just justified nothing.There were clashes among various groups in the campus and he always assured that he remained around in the front.
Academics was never his concern,but somehow he kept pushing himself off from one sem to other with not many baclogs .He had almost forgotten how difficult was for his parents to put him into the college,they had done it despite their financial constraints .His attitude had altogether changed.Almost by the end of third year,he knew he was having a bit too many papers to write down,but again those thoughts didnt stay longer,he had other business schedules.Again there was a clash in the college,there was no fight in the campus without his involvement and this time again,he participated wholeheartedly and finally the case was registered against him.There was nothing unusual about it,it was the fourth case against him.As all earlier cases were,even this would be sorted off.
Finally he stepped into the final year.He could see people around him had changed. His friends were more inclined to books than never before.They werent as careless as they were before.It was the time for first sessionals,as always, he had no books to read,no notes nothing.He came to the college morning and were just looking at others who were busy with their studies.
"Hey Marc,wanna check out some portions",It was John who was sitting behind him.Marc was stunned,he never expected a hand of help from John. he had beaten up John not once or twice,there has been heated exchanges between them before.But the same guy is out with his helping hands.John started explaining the portions for the test,Marc started to grasp certain lessons,not the ones John was explaining,but those which he should have learned much much earlier.Exams got over,it was final sem and almost all students did assure that they were in the classroom,not out of eagerness to learn, but out of desire to be with friends all along some days that was left in the campus.
Marc was knowing it better than ever before, he had placed many things above friendship and now he repents. There were many moments when he even forgot that those were his classmates whom he had treated as enemies.But none of them keeps that vengeance for him.Everyone sees him as a good friend and his conscience was knocking him down every moment he felt their love for him.He couldnt control and finally he broke off during the farewell.His words were applauded by all.He hadnt had even a pinch of hypocrisy or show offs in his words,it was directly from heart .He was feeling better now.After all he could tell everything he wanted to,he was lighter at heart now.Next it was their beloved class tutor who was on the stage,he started off with a smile.
"Dear students,within days you are moving off from student life to professional life.Its nice that Marc has understood his mistakes . But I would like to tell him that he has rectified his mistakes by asking forgiveness,now its time for him and others to think beyond it,life doesnt end here,to those who are placed and would be joining into new firms,work hard and do well and dont ever forget your friends and your college,to those who still have some papers to write down,its never too late,clear your papers and you have a bright future ahead of you.This is the third time I am here to wish farewell to my beloved students.Let me tell you all,you would never ever have such a tenure of pure unadulterated fun and friendship again.There were moments where we teachers have opposed to your certain activities,but it was all part of the college life,we have done it in our days,you are doing it now.But do make it a point to come to your college whenever you have time,these gates are always open for you,wish you all the best."
There was a big round of applause.It was followed by cultural programs,mean while senior guys were having photography sessions.They were dancing ,partying and it was all fun.Finally the program got over,the students started moving back to their hostels.Marc with his right hand resting on John's shoulders was walking back to the hostel.It was a star studded sky,he was just wondering at them,there were tears still in his eyes,this time he wasnt confessing,he was counting down his seconds left out at campus."Even farewell is over now,many wonderful moments to cherish,even this happens to be one among them.One complete chapter in life would soon be completed ,whatever is in store for me,I am sure I will never have such beautiful days again,never again"..
Four years back when he had stepped into the campus,he had no idea how his life would transform in four years.First year,it was about running away from seniors.Second year,he started to involve in the college culture,getting into student politics , strikes, proposals,love breaks etc.This was the time when he had the puff of a cigarette for the first time,he also tasted beer for the first time.As days and months passed by,the intensity of activity in these areas of interest kept on aggravating.He had become more an emotionless creature.He never found anything wrong in beating up his clasmates for his student group.He had his justifications which which just justified nothing.There were clashes among various groups in the campus and he always assured that he remained around in the front.
Academics was never his concern,but somehow he kept pushing himself off from one sem to other with not many baclogs .He had almost forgotten how difficult was for his parents to put him into the college,they had done it despite their financial constraints .His attitude had altogether changed.Almost by the end of third year,he knew he was having a bit too many papers to write down,but again those thoughts didnt stay longer,he had other business schedules.Again there was a clash in the college,there was no fight in the campus without his involvement and this time again,he participated wholeheartedly and finally the case was registered against him.There was nothing unusual about it,it was the fourth case against him.As all earlier cases were,even this would be sorted off.
Finally he stepped into the final year.He could see people around him had changed. His friends were more inclined to books than never before.They werent as careless as they were before.It was the time for first sessionals,as always, he had no books to read,no notes nothing.He came to the college morning and were just looking at others who were busy with their studies.
"Hey Marc,wanna check out some portions",It was John who was sitting behind him.Marc was stunned,he never expected a hand of help from John. he had beaten up John not once or twice,there has been heated exchanges between them before.But the same guy is out with his helping hands.John started explaining the portions for the test,Marc started to grasp certain lessons,not the ones John was explaining,but those which he should have learned much much earlier.Exams got over,it was final sem and almost all students did assure that they were in the classroom,not out of eagerness to learn, but out of desire to be with friends all along some days that was left in the campus.
Marc was knowing it better than ever before, he had placed many things above friendship and now he repents. There were many moments when he even forgot that those were his classmates whom he had treated as enemies.But none of them keeps that vengeance for him.Everyone sees him as a good friend and his conscience was knocking him down every moment he felt their love for him.He couldnt control and finally he broke off during the farewell.His words were applauded by all.He hadnt had even a pinch of hypocrisy or show offs in his words,it was directly from heart .He was feeling better now.After all he could tell everything he wanted to,he was lighter at heart now.Next it was their beloved class tutor who was on the stage,he started off with a smile.
"Dear students,within days you are moving off from student life to professional life.Its nice that Marc has understood his mistakes . But I would like to tell him that he has rectified his mistakes by asking forgiveness,now its time for him and others to think beyond it,life doesnt end here,to those who are placed and would be joining into new firms,work hard and do well and dont ever forget your friends and your college,to those who still have some papers to write down,its never too late,clear your papers and you have a bright future ahead of you.This is the third time I am here to wish farewell to my beloved students.Let me tell you all,you would never ever have such a tenure of pure unadulterated fun and friendship again.There were moments where we teachers have opposed to your certain activities,but it was all part of the college life,we have done it in our days,you are doing it now.But do make it a point to come to your college whenever you have time,these gates are always open for you,wish you all the best."
There was a big round of applause.It was followed by cultural programs,mean while senior guys were having photography sessions.They were dancing ,partying and it was all fun.Finally the program got over,the students started moving back to their hostels.Marc with his right hand resting on John's shoulders was walking back to the hostel.It was a star studded sky,he was just wondering at them,there were tears still in his eyes,this time he wasnt confessing,he was counting down his seconds left out at campus."Even farewell is over now,many wonderful moments to cherish,even this happens to be one among them.One complete chapter in life would soon be completed ,whatever is in store for me,I am sure I will never have such beautiful days again,never again"..
Screwed up
I had heard about the inconvenience one has to face during curfew,but hearing and knowing happens to be far different from experiencing.Its ridiculous to remain at homes and cant even be on the roads.I heard my neighbor say that he was asked to run back to home when he was just out to road to buy something.Its something like an emergency situation here.No shops,no vehicles,cant be out of homes.Its nothing but suffocation that I feel out here.I cant move to my friends home,they cant come here.Its all the result of clashes,I dont know if its political or communal,but what I know is nobody is happy with whats going around.Its all tense situation,none is able to get out of the homes,infact fear is something that I see everywhere.We are running out of food stuffs at homes and even if we need to buy,we have no shops,no vehicles to get it form other place,nothing.This place is turning into a hell.Its almost a week and still there is no improvement in the condition. Hope everything gets back to normalcy soon,what else can we do!!!
April 18, 2008
U Me Aur Hum
The title of the movie appears to be funny a bit,but the movie is certainly not.This time I wont give any skeleton of the story coz that would surely hamper your viewing pleasure.Its a beautiful story painted on the canvas of romance and Ajay Devgan's directorial debut has done its magic.It is said to be competing with Krazzy 4 in the box office and I am sure you will not be disappointed.So even Ajay proves to be a good director and he has followed Aamir in the work by every means.If Tare Zameen Par is liked by masses,then I am sure even this would be,the two movies would only match in their directorial excellence and performance of the actors.
Of course there are some technical questions that could be raised once you finish off the movie given the patient's illness being a bit severe( I am really sorry,but cant reveal anything more),but I would say its the best movie of the year among the releases till date.Ajay and Kajol has once again shown that they form a wonderful couple on screen too.Both of them have been marvelous and others too did show their commitment to their roles,if not more.The passage of the story have been well carved and the direction has been awesome.Especially the arrangement of various scenes and frames have been done well.
Ultimately when you come out of theatres,you do have feeling thats worth more than your ticket price.Its a very well plotted and directed love story where all actors have shown justice to their roles.Do grab your tickets and watch it,its really worth.My rating is 8/10.
April 17, 2008
When flags rule minds
This post is dedicated to all my brothers and sisters who lost their lives in communal and political riots.
This picture wouldn't have been out of your memories.Its one of the moments from the Gujarat riots where a person is seen to be pleading for his life.Its been almost 6 years now since the massacre and lets not dig it out,but its sad,really sad that people have still failed to learn lessons from what had happened.
The essence of humanity is not only constrained for the better living,but its the base of our existence and I fear the reverse process is much triggered now.Its sad that people forget everything when they take arms for flags and ideologies.Religion was for the betterment of humanity,for people to live in harmony,to follow their way of life to attain peace and find solace.But now its the most vigorous tool that can burn down a city,take 100s of lives and the wounds never heal.
Groups have been formed to put people with similar thoughts under a roof.Different groups are to work together to finally attain the goal of social equilibrium and harmony.Flags are to denote their ideology and their vision and to inspire people.But now groups find time to fight against each other.The one who needs to guard social justice happens to be the biggest terror.
Who is to be held responsible,no parties, no religious groups can ever be judged the sinner.Its the inertia within us that has bred this evil.We are happy within our homes,we are happy keeping mum;even if it happens to us,we dont know how to react Lets do something that can put our society back to track.Let our religions be no more an issue to trigger violence.Let our ideologies be never a tool to create conflicts.Let fraternity be not a word just printed in books.Let us put humanity far front of our ideologies and religions.Lets understand that we are first humans and then hindu or muslim.When someone is murdered out of this cause.lets not forget,we are not just killing a person,we are eradicating humanity.Hope it wont be too late before we open our eyes.
This picture wouldn't have been out of your memories.Its one of the moments from the Gujarat riots where a person is seen to be pleading for his life.Its been almost 6 years now since the massacre and lets not dig it out,but its sad,really sad that people have still failed to learn lessons from what had happened.
The essence of humanity is not only constrained for the better living,but its the base of our existence and I fear the reverse process is much triggered now.Its sad that people forget everything when they take arms for flags and ideologies.Religion was for the betterment of humanity,for people to live in harmony,to follow their way of life to attain peace and find solace.But now its the most vigorous tool that can burn down a city,take 100s of lives and the wounds never heal.
Groups have been formed to put people with similar thoughts under a roof.Different groups are to work together to finally attain the goal of social equilibrium and harmony.Flags are to denote their ideology and their vision and to inspire people.But now groups find time to fight against each other.The one who needs to guard social justice happens to be the biggest terror.
Who is to be held responsible,no parties, no religious groups can ever be judged the sinner.Its the inertia within us that has bred this evil.We are happy within our homes,we are happy keeping mum;even if it happens to us,we dont know how to react Lets do something that can put our society back to track.Let our religions be no more an issue to trigger violence.Let our ideologies be never a tool to create conflicts.Let fraternity be not a word just printed in books.Let us put humanity far front of our ideologies and religions.Lets understand that we are first humans and then hindu or muslim.When someone is murdered out of this cause.lets not forget,we are not just killing a person,we are eradicating humanity.Hope it wont be too late before we open our eyes.
The 4 year holiday called "ENGINEERING"
Read till the end...its nice...
Things we have to remember.... common to all
Engineering friends :
1).The lecturers dont teach.The students dont study.
The only guy who benefits is the one who owns the
'dhaba' next to the
college.
2).Rules are made to be broken.
3).Deadlines are made to be extended...ALWAYS!
4).Guys always think the girls in the college next
lane are more
beautiful.
5).The geeks are the most pampered lot during the
internal exams.
6).The lab assistants are the most respected people
(during the lab exams)
7).The watchmen are the people most bribed.
8).The HOD is the person most respected(heights of
sycophancy here).
9).The principal is the person most abused and
insulted(behind the back)
10).Dropping subjects is 'cool'.(arre yaar..drop the
idea of dropping subjects plzz).
11).There is always a lecturer in the college who
cant speak proper 'english'.
12).Night-out is the second most important tool to
ace the exams.
13).The most important tool..the bhramastra..is the
'chit' in which the words can be understood only by
the person who wrote them(in most of the cases)
14).The freshers are the most sought after..be it in
the canteen,the ' free' periods or for completing the
records,assignments.
15).The second-years are the ones with the 'I am the
don-of-the-college' feeling.
16).The third years are the ones with the
'so-many-backlogs' feeling and the poor souls get
down to studying after bossing around in the
college for so long.but the fun still continues.
17).The fourth years have no connection with the
college whatsoever...with no interest in ragging,pulling
each other`s legs,the b'day parties,the b'day bums et al
which they enjoyed so much till now.All they want is a
good placement and a 1st-class' tag attached to their memo.
19).The first three years are spent in cursing the
college,the people there,the system et al.
20).But towards the end of the fourth year,people
tend to feel nostalgic abt the pure unadulterated fun they have
had for 4 years.Now the very system they disliked,the very
canteen they cursed,the time that they spent there,the bday
bums they suffered.. all these seem like heaven to them.
Courtesy:Hasan Fainaze
Things we have to remember.... common to all
Engineering friends :
1).The lecturers dont teach.The students dont study.
The only guy who benefits is the one who owns the
'dhaba' next to the
college.
2).Rules are made to be broken.
3).Deadlines are made to be extended...ALWAYS!
4).Guys always think the girls in the college next
lane are more
beautiful.
5).The geeks are the most pampered lot during the
internal exams.
6).The lab assistants are the most respected people
(during the lab exams)
7).The watchmen are the people most bribed.
8).The HOD is the person most respected(heights of
sycophancy here).
9).The principal is the person most abused and
insulted(behind the back)
10).Dropping subjects is 'cool'.(arre yaar..drop the
idea of dropping subjects plzz).
11).There is always a lecturer in the college who
cant speak proper 'english'.
12).Night-out is the second most important tool to
ace the exams.
13).The most important tool..the bhramastra..is the
'chit' in which the words can be understood only by
the person who wrote them(in most of the cases)
14).The freshers are the most sought after..be it in
the canteen,the ' free' periods or for completing the
records,assignments.
15).The second-years are the ones with the 'I am the
don-of-the-college' feeling.
16).The third years are the ones with the
'so-many-backlogs' feeling and the poor souls get
down to studying after bossing around in the
college for so long.but the fun still continues.
17).The fourth years have no connection with the
college whatsoever...with no interest in ragging,pulling
each other`s legs,the b'day parties,the b'day bums et al
which they enjoyed so much till now.All they want is a
good placement and a 1st-class' tag attached to their memo.
19).The first three years are spent in cursing the
college,the people there,the system et al.
20).But towards the end of the fourth year,people
tend to feel nostalgic abt the pure unadulterated fun they have
had for 4 years.Now the very system they disliked,the very
canteen they cursed,the time that they spent there,the bday
bums they suffered.. all these seem like heaven to them.
Courtesy:Hasan Fainaze
Leave letters
This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...
1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.
2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."
10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post
Courtesy:email from Hasan Fainaze
1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.
2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."
10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post
Courtesy:email from Hasan Fainaze
April 16, 2008
Apocalypto
Its too late to post a review on this movie,but I just couldnt resist.Everyone knows Mel Gibson is a good actor,but now when it comes to direction,probably I feel he surpasses his acting skills Apocalypto doesnt hav
e an understandable dialect,you get to know the dialogues only if you have the subtitles.But certain movies are beyond dialogues,the feel the movie creates says it all and unquestionably this movie stands tall in the elite list of such awesome works.
The very first scene where the video lens zooms in to the bushes is just a beginning of the directorial excellence ,that was reflected through out the movie, of one of the finest actors of our times.What really fascinated me was there wasnt any unnecessary background hiphops,every frame was much like a painting in the canvas.The movie starts with the life of one of the tribes residing somewhere in Latin America.The men and women of the tribe are captured by the soldiers of Mayan kingdom.They are taken to the capital of the kingdom.The women are sold in the markets where as men are chopped off their heads as a sacrifice to the Gods.The rest of the movie deals with the escape of a person from the capital back to his village and his struggle during his venture.
You can rarely see a better portrayal of running away from death.It was the never give up attitude of the hero that steals the show.The scenes were really down to earth and very realistic even though it appeared raw at times.But the movie justified all its elements and it was an awesome experience watching this beautiful movie.I would suggest you to watch this movie or else I bet you are missing one of the best.
e an understandable dialect,you get to know the dialogues only if you have the subtitles.But certain movies are beyond dialogues,the feel the movie creates says it all and unquestionably this movie stands tall in the elite list of such awesome works.The very first scene where the video lens zooms in to the bushes is just a beginning of the directorial excellence ,that was reflected through out the movie, of one of the finest actors of our times.What really fascinated me was there wasnt any unnecessary background hiphops,every frame was much like a painting in the canvas.The movie starts with the life of one of the tribes residing somewhere in Latin America.The men and women of the tribe are captured by the soldiers of Mayan kingdom.They are taken to the capital of the kingdom.The women are sold in the markets where as men are chopped off their heads as a sacrifice to the Gods.The rest of the movie deals with the escape of a person from the capital back to his village and his struggle during his venture.
You can rarely see a better portrayal of running away from death.It was the never give up attitude of the hero that steals the show.The scenes were really down to earth and very realistic even though it appeared raw at times.But the movie justified all its elements and it was an awesome experience watching this beautiful movie.I would suggest you to watch this movie or else I bet you are missing one of the best.
April 14, 2008
Calculation mistake
The scene is a bus stop.He and She are waiting in the bus stop.They have been bus stop mates for over a week now.Everyday She comes first,then comes he,both remain at the stop for around five minutes then take the same bus.At the bus stop they do share looks and smiles,but they havent yet talked.
Another day at bus stop
He:"Oh she looks gorgeous in yellow saree.But I still shiver to talk to her,I think even she feels the same,I am sure I have a serious interest on this girl.Even her looks convey the same.But I would better wait a bit more and then tell her what is within me.Oh dear please look at me,please look at me.. finally she looked,wow!! she is smiling ; hmm so let me confirm it ,she loves me."
She:"Oh crap,why is this idiot looking at me all the time.It seems he has never seen a girl ealier.Its been a week now I am getting intimidated.Every time I just happen to look at him,he is there showing out his yellowish teeth at me and I am forced to smile.I think I should tell my husband to drop me at the next stop atleast.This guy is eating up my nerves,useless fellow."
The bus comes,both of them climb in and move to their destinations.
Next week on , only He appears at the bus stop.Its been almost a week that He has seen her.He feels he had been late in proposing her,"Had I talked to her,she would have told where she is gone,atleast she would have given me her number,even she expected me to tell her what I felt for her,I missed my love".She climbs bus from the next stop and has changed her timing,"Thank god I got out of there,atleast now I dont have to see his face.Its a relief that he didnt talk to me,had he done that ,maybe I would be forced to teach him mannerism."
He is depressed over his lost love and She is happy that her intimidating factor is off.
Another day at bus stop
He:"Oh she looks gorgeous in yellow saree.But I still shiver to talk to her,I think even she feels the same,I am sure I have a serious interest on this girl.Even her looks convey the same.But I would better wait a bit more and then tell her what is within me.Oh dear please look at me,please look at me.. finally she looked,wow!! she is smiling ; hmm so let me confirm it ,she loves me."
She:"Oh crap,why is this idiot looking at me all the time.It seems he has never seen a girl ealier.Its been a week now I am getting intimidated.Every time I just happen to look at him,he is there showing out his yellowish teeth at me and I am forced to smile.I think I should tell my husband to drop me at the next stop atleast.This guy is eating up my nerves,useless fellow."
The bus comes,both of them climb in and move to their destinations.
Next week on , only He appears at the bus stop.Its been almost a week that He has seen her.He feels he had been late in proposing her,"Had I talked to her,she would have told where she is gone,atleast she would have given me her number,even she expected me to tell her what I felt for her,I missed my love".She climbs bus from the next stop and has changed her timing,"Thank god I got out of there,atleast now I dont have to see his face.Its a relief that he didnt talk to me,had he done that ,maybe I would be forced to teach him mannerism."
He is depressed over his lost love and She is happy that her intimidating factor is off.
April 11, 2008
Crucification is complete
To read from the beginning click here
"Hey its time for lunch";I was knocked off my thought.Its time to have those three stale chapathis and so called gravy.I was counting down my days at jail.But it was not that bad too.I had got a friend here who much ,similar to me ,has been trapped.It was his cousin who cheated him which finally brought him here after bankruptcy.He always reminds me"Only your parents tend to be true to you,others are just cheats ,they use you for their needs and then throw you off".I was slowly but steadily starting to digest his theory of life,May be my life was proving it.There are sleepless nights when the moments with my best friend haunts me,I couldnt still understand why did he do it.But many questions in life are never answered and this just adds up the list.
Finally the day has come.My case would be heard today.I hope it would not be postponed for another day.My bail plea would be re-considered today.Now that the piece of evidences have been forwarded for technical analysis,I was much more hopeful that my innocence would be proved,but nothing was predictable.One again I stepped into the court corridors,the usual verbal exercises from both counsel were in full swing.But I found my friend was missing among the people seated there.My mom and dad were in front row hoping for a better result.Finally I was granted bail as the judge noted that the prosecution had failed to make any progress in the case.Also the police were yet not able to prove that I had any hand in the murder.It was a happy moment.I was happy that I got back to my parents.I reached home and mom did make a lot of dishes for me.But one thing I was really disappointed was that I had missed many classes,many exams,but I was optimistic that once I get out of this hell issue,I would have a better tommorrow.I felt my love for my parents had increased a lot now.I thought only they were sincere to me where as my friend whom I had trusted had cheated me ruthlessly.
I didnt want to,but still,out of curiosity,enquired about my friend to mom.She said,"Hmm he had come here to enquire about you after we had visited you.We were very rude to him.But we had misunderstood him.He was forced to lie coz of threats from those gangsters.He never wanted to,but he had no other choice.I think we hurt him a lot that day.Otherwise he wouldnt have done this",her words were getting softer and thinner.I knew something had gone wrong.She went back to kitchen.I was cursing myself for what I had thought about him.I felt I should meet him .So in the evening,I set out to his home.
I reached his home,the surroundings looked gloomy.His dad was seated in the corridor.When he saw me ,he came out "Oh so finally you are back,our prayers have been answered,my son had always wanted to meet you,but we didnt let him to".He started talking about his son a lot and the memories that we had shared. I couldnt really understand the context of his feelings,but soon his eyes were diluted ,he said,"get in ,your aunt is in the kitchen".It was my second home and I had a lot of freedom there.I went to kitchen,even I found her gloomy,but stil she managed to stick a smile on her face.My friend was still not seen around,so I enquired her where had he gone".She didnt say anything,her tears suggested that something seriouly went wrong somewhere.She went to his room,I followed her.She opened his drawer and took out a letter.She handed it over to me,"He always wanted to come over there and meet you,but we were worried.He wanted us to give you this,you were his best friend".She said and started to move back to the kitchen.First of all I was really taken aback by the cold reception I got,and now the suspense was just growing thicker.But I couldnt ask her anything.I looked at the letter.At the top he clearly mentioned that the letter was not to be read by anyone other than me.I opened it.
"Hii man,I know you are disgusted with me,I was helpless;I was forced to speak against you.I never wanted to.I now I have broken the trust you had on me.I feel guilty and I can no longer carry this.I couldnt convince you parents that I didnt cheat you,I couldnt convince myself.Now it has become too hard for me to carry on.I just wanted you to know that I never meant betraying you,we have been so close,but still our affinity has been tested and my integrity has failed to put it together.I dont know if what I am doing is wrong,but what I did to you was never right.I stii cherish those moments when we were together,I would surely miss you.Please
forgive me if you can,I am sorry .My dearest friend I am really sorry"
I couldnt take it anymore.I was getting eager to know wherehe was.I got out of his room and just then I saw his mom with the tea.I asked her,"where is he, i want to see him".
"I wish if you could, he could never go against you and when he did,he didnt even think about us,we lost our son ".I could stay there no more.She wanted me to have the tea,I couldnt even answer her.I ran out and moved off.I could see those frames of moments running through my heart when we were together.We stayed together in moments of happiness and pain until this moment when we were separated.He could do nothing else,but I failed to understand him,I mistrust his friendship.And now I am not given a chance to rectify.
His note would be strong enough to prove that I am innocent.May be it would lead the case in the right way.I would be freed from all the charges.But finally I am the loser.I lost my best friend,I lost a relationship that I treasured a lot.The voidity that I have never felt till now is starting to creep up.I start to understand the true meaning of tranquility and pain.The last nail on my heart has been hit in.My crucification is complete.
"Hey its time for lunch";I was knocked off my thought.Its time to have those three stale chapathis and so called gravy.I was counting down my days at jail.But it was not that bad too.I had got a friend here who much ,similar to me ,has been trapped.It was his cousin who cheated him which finally brought him here after bankruptcy.He always reminds me"Only your parents tend to be true to you,others are just cheats ,they use you for their needs and then throw you off".I was slowly but steadily starting to digest his theory of life,May be my life was proving it.There are sleepless nights when the moments with my best friend haunts me,I couldnt still understand why did he do it.But many questions in life are never answered and this just adds up the list.
Finally the day has come.My case would be heard today.I hope it would not be postponed for another day.My bail plea would be re-considered today.Now that the piece of evidences have been forwarded for technical analysis,I was much more hopeful that my innocence would be proved,but nothing was predictable.One again I stepped into the court corridors,the usual verbal exercises from both counsel were in full swing.But I found my friend was missing among the people seated there.My mom and dad were in front row hoping for a better result.Finally I was granted bail as the judge noted that the prosecution had failed to make any progress in the case.Also the police were yet not able to prove that I had any hand in the murder.It was a happy moment.I was happy that I got back to my parents.I reached home and mom did make a lot of dishes for me.But one thing I was really disappointed was that I had missed many classes,many exams,but I was optimistic that once I get out of this hell issue,I would have a better tommorrow.I felt my love for my parents had increased a lot now.I thought only they were sincere to me where as my friend whom I had trusted had cheated me ruthlessly.
I didnt want to,but still,out of curiosity,enquired about my friend to mom.She said,"Hmm he had come here to enquire about you after we had visited you.We were very rude to him.But we had misunderstood him.He was forced to lie coz of threats from those gangsters.He never wanted to,but he had no other choice.I think we hurt him a lot that day.Otherwise he wouldnt have done this",her words were getting softer and thinner.I knew something had gone wrong.She went back to kitchen.I was cursing myself for what I had thought about him.I felt I should meet him .So in the evening,I set out to his home.
I reached his home,the surroundings looked gloomy.His dad was seated in the corridor.When he saw me ,he came out "Oh so finally you are back,our prayers have been answered,my son had always wanted to meet you,but we didnt let him to".He started talking about his son a lot and the memories that we had shared. I couldnt really understand the context of his feelings,but soon his eyes were diluted ,he said,"get in ,your aunt is in the kitchen".It was my second home and I had a lot of freedom there.I went to kitchen,even I found her gloomy,but stil she managed to stick a smile on her face.My friend was still not seen around,so I enquired her where had he gone".She didnt say anything,her tears suggested that something seriouly went wrong somewhere.She went to his room,I followed her.She opened his drawer and took out a letter.She handed it over to me,"He always wanted to come over there and meet you,but we were worried.He wanted us to give you this,you were his best friend".She said and started to move back to the kitchen.First of all I was really taken aback by the cold reception I got,and now the suspense was just growing thicker.But I couldnt ask her anything.I looked at the letter.At the top he clearly mentioned that the letter was not to be read by anyone other than me.I opened it.
"Hii man,I know you are disgusted with me,I was helpless;I was forced to speak against you.I never wanted to.I now I have broken the trust you had on me.I feel guilty and I can no longer carry this.I couldnt convince you parents that I didnt cheat you,I couldnt convince myself.Now it has become too hard for me to carry on.I just wanted you to know that I never meant betraying you,we have been so close,but still our affinity has been tested and my integrity has failed to put it together.I dont know if what I am doing is wrong,but what I did to you was never right.I stii cherish those moments when we were together,I would surely miss you.Please
forgive me if you can,I am sorry .My dearest friend I am really sorry"
I couldnt take it anymore.I was getting eager to know wherehe was.I got out of his room and just then I saw his mom with the tea.I asked her,"where is he, i want to see him".
"I wish if you could, he could never go against you and when he did,he didnt even think about us,we lost our son ".I could stay there no more.She wanted me to have the tea,I couldnt even answer her.I ran out and moved off.I could see those frames of moments running through my heart when we were together.We stayed together in moments of happiness and pain until this moment when we were separated.He could do nothing else,but I failed to understand him,I mistrust his friendship.And now I am not given a chance to rectify.
His note would be strong enough to prove that I am innocent.May be it would lead the case in the right way.I would be freed from all the charges.But finally I am the loser.I lost my best friend,I lost a relationship that I treasured a lot.The voidity that I have never felt till now is starting to creep up.I start to understand the true meaning of tranquility and pain.The last nail on my heart has been hit in.My crucification is complete.
April 9, 2008
Crucification- second part
To read from the beginning click here
Agony and anxiety had kept us awake the whole night.We were sure that there would be a police visit to the hostel and we were accustomed with that.They would ask us to gather in the corridor and some usual questions.Even they knew very well we were in no way responsible for any gang war issues,but it has become a custom for them to come and terrify us for someone else's pranks.This time it was a bit different,we happen to be a witness of something we shouldnt have witnessed,but as far as it was within us,there was no call for troubles.
It was around 8 in the morning when the police jeep arrived.It was the same old inspector who always had the privilege to be in our hostel atleast once a month.This time since many of us were to the movie last day night,he had more of a chance to graze over us.As usual we gathered in the corridor.This time we had reason to worry.Before he talked anything he took out a plastic bag and I could see a Maxima watch with a gold plated strap with in the transparent bag.He put it in front of us and asked,"Who ever is the owner of this,do come forward".Many of the hostelites looked at me as they knew it was mine.Yes it was my watch,I had lost it somehow and I was sure it was going to cost me dearly. I put a step forward and said with a half clogged voice,"Its mine".There were no further questions.I was asked to be taken in the police jeep.I wanted to speak out something,but I was frozen and I had ran out of voice.I was taken into the custody with regard to the murder as a suspect. I know I hadnt killed anyone.But my watch happens to be the key factor against me.There was a strong voice within me that wanted me to shout what actually had happened,but I felt that it could put me in more troubles. In the initial questioning session,I preferred to keep my answers short in yes and no,even I wasnt troubled much.But the second time,there was a transformation in the scenario, the inspector was no angel and I was knowing with every moment passing by, this time I couldnt resist,before it would get worse,I spoke out what I witnessed and what really had happened. I had a sigh of relief.
The relief didnt stay longer.With a raised eyebrow, he said"so you expect us to believe this, we are giving you a bit more time,tell the truth or else we know how to do it".He just went off. Almost by evening my dad came on along with an advocate. His face didnt need an explanation,confused,perplexed,worried.He seemed to be sinking at heart .I thought my father knew well to hide his emotions,but this time he was running out of shade.While the advocate was on a heated discussion with the inspector,dad came over to me."Dont worry Nothing will happen,you will be safe".His words meant consolation,but his expression displayed the worries.I told him,"I did nothing". He said" I know ".He wasnt in a position to talk more. I wasnt given the bail,it was a saturday and now I had to wait till Monday to get the bail from the court.I was sure I would get the bail.
It was a black sunday which went eventless.Monday morning,I got up early and I was counting seconds to my freedom.I was taken to court around almost 10 .It was almost around 11 am when my case was taken up.First time in the court room,Just a similar environment I saw in the movies,but this time I was the suspect and I felt the whole world looking at me as if I had done the sin.Even I could see my best friend sitting among the people.I smiled at him,but he turned face.The face of rejection is always painful and when it comes from someone who is very close to you,you find the pain of tranquility creeping around you.I didnt expect any complications regarding my case,the bail was just minutes away.But always fate loved to put twists in my way.The prosecution counsel requested the court to allow me to be taken on remand so that there is no hindrance to the investigations.He carried on "Me lord,this guy is a strong suspect under the situation and condition he was found, his watch was found out from near the body,also from his hostel room,his blood stained shirt have been taken in. His explanation regarding the incident lacks transparency.If he is just a witness,he should have either reported at the police station or shouldnt have been hanging around there.Its ridiculous to believe that he took off the knife from the body when he himself has admitted that he was shocked by what was happening around him.So I request you not to grant him bail as it can seriously hamper the investigation process".
I wondered what was wrong with him,I could see my transformation from suspect to murderer.His verbal acrobatics seemed to be working against me.He said,"Me lord,even his best friend is not sure if he has clean hands in this issue."He was called on for explanation.The prosecution asked him,"Explain what happened that night?".His explanation went well until I found something wrong.He said,"While I was running off,I just couldnt sight him anywhere,I placed my motor cycle at a house since I was not in a position to carry it down to hostel,then I went searching for him.I found him drenched in blood,he seemed worried and was sweating,I asked what was going on,he kept mum caught my hand,pulled me on and we ran back to hostel".
"So what do you think ,do you agree that your friend is innocent",asked the lawyer.
"I dont know"This was his reply.
I felt a relation that ran over one and half decades seemed to have developed cracks in it.I didnt know that he dont know what happened.I didnt know that he didnt know me.I dont know whats gone wrong.The only thing I know is my trust in now in waters.My best friend has twisted my destiny.My lawyer tried his best,but all fell in vain.My mom's tears,my dad's struggle,my lawyer's hardwork and moreover my wish to be free failed to my friend's words.I was rejected bail.I was taken back to the police jeep.My next 14 days would be in the jail.I could see my mom crying,I had nothing to tell her;I could see my friend moving off in his car.I sat at the police jeep.The jeep moved on.It was taking me away from my parents,from the people I love, from happiness that once carpeted my floor.I was to join a new world ,a new world of tranquility and suffering,of rejection and humility.But it doesnt matter now.May be I would be jailed for years,may be I would be hanged,but my crucification is already done.
To continue click here
Agony and anxiety had kept us awake the whole night.We were sure that there would be a police visit to the hostel and we were accustomed with that.They would ask us to gather in the corridor and some usual questions.Even they knew very well we were in no way responsible for any gang war issues,but it has become a custom for them to come and terrify us for someone else's pranks.This time it was a bit different,we happen to be a witness of something we shouldnt have witnessed,but as far as it was within us,there was no call for troubles.
It was around 8 in the morning when the police jeep arrived.It was the same old inspector who always had the privilege to be in our hostel atleast once a month.This time since many of us were to the movie last day night,he had more of a chance to graze over us.As usual we gathered in the corridor.This time we had reason to worry.Before he talked anything he took out a plastic bag and I could see a Maxima watch with a gold plated strap with in the transparent bag.He put it in front of us and asked,"Who ever is the owner of this,do come forward".Many of the hostelites looked at me as they knew it was mine.Yes it was my watch,I had lost it somehow and I was sure it was going to cost me dearly. I put a step forward and said with a half clogged voice,"Its mine".There were no further questions.I was asked to be taken in the police jeep.I wanted to speak out something,but I was frozen and I had ran out of voice.I was taken into the custody with regard to the murder as a suspect. I know I hadnt killed anyone.But my watch happens to be the key factor against me.There was a strong voice within me that wanted me to shout what actually had happened,but I felt that it could put me in more troubles. In the initial questioning session,I preferred to keep my answers short in yes and no,even I wasnt troubled much.But the second time,there was a transformation in the scenario, the inspector was no angel and I was knowing with every moment passing by, this time I couldnt resist,before it would get worse,I spoke out what I witnessed and what really had happened. I had a sigh of relief.
The relief didnt stay longer.With a raised eyebrow, he said"so you expect us to believe this, we are giving you a bit more time,tell the truth or else we know how to do it".He just went off. Almost by evening my dad came on along with an advocate. His face didnt need an explanation,confused,perplexed,worried.He seemed to be sinking at heart .I thought my father knew well to hide his emotions,but this time he was running out of shade.While the advocate was on a heated discussion with the inspector,dad came over to me."Dont worry Nothing will happen,you will be safe".His words meant consolation,but his expression displayed the worries.I told him,"I did nothing". He said" I know ".He wasnt in a position to talk more. I wasnt given the bail,it was a saturday and now I had to wait till Monday to get the bail from the court.I was sure I would get the bail.
It was a black sunday which went eventless.Monday morning,I got up early and I was counting seconds to my freedom.I was taken to court around almost 10 .It was almost around 11 am when my case was taken up.First time in the court room,Just a similar environment I saw in the movies,but this time I was the suspect and I felt the whole world looking at me as if I had done the sin.Even I could see my best friend sitting among the people.I smiled at him,but he turned face.The face of rejection is always painful and when it comes from someone who is very close to you,you find the pain of tranquility creeping around you.I didnt expect any complications regarding my case,the bail was just minutes away.But always fate loved to put twists in my way.The prosecution counsel requested the court to allow me to be taken on remand so that there is no hindrance to the investigations.He carried on "Me lord,this guy is a strong suspect under the situation and condition he was found, his watch was found out from near the body,also from his hostel room,his blood stained shirt have been taken in. His explanation regarding the incident lacks transparency.If he is just a witness,he should have either reported at the police station or shouldnt have been hanging around there.Its ridiculous to believe that he took off the knife from the body when he himself has admitted that he was shocked by what was happening around him.So I request you not to grant him bail as it can seriously hamper the investigation process".
I wondered what was wrong with him,I could see my transformation from suspect to murderer.His verbal acrobatics seemed to be working against me.He said,"Me lord,even his best friend is not sure if he has clean hands in this issue."He was called on for explanation.The prosecution asked him,"Explain what happened that night?".His explanation went well until I found something wrong.He said,"While I was running off,I just couldnt sight him anywhere,I placed my motor cycle at a house since I was not in a position to carry it down to hostel,then I went searching for him.I found him drenched in blood,he seemed worried and was sweating,I asked what was going on,he kept mum caught my hand,pulled me on and we ran back to hostel".
"So what do you think ,do you agree that your friend is innocent",asked the lawyer.
"I dont know"This was his reply.
I felt a relation that ran over one and half decades seemed to have developed cracks in it.I didnt know that he dont know what happened.I didnt know that he didnt know me.I dont know whats gone wrong.The only thing I know is my trust in now in waters.My best friend has twisted my destiny.My lawyer tried his best,but all fell in vain.My mom's tears,my dad's struggle,my lawyer's hardwork and moreover my wish to be free failed to my friend's words.I was rejected bail.I was taken back to the police jeep.My next 14 days would be in the jail.I could see my mom crying,I had nothing to tell her;I could see my friend moving off in his car.I sat at the police jeep.The jeep moved on.It was taking me away from my parents,from the people I love, from happiness that once carpeted my floor.I was to join a new world ,a new world of tranquility and suffering,of rejection and humility.But it doesnt matter now.May be I would be jailed for years,may be I would be hanged,but my crucification is already done.
To continue click here
April 8, 2008
Crucification
When I look through the iron bars of my cell,I remember those days of happiness when I had a lot of people around me,when I laughed with friends,went for outing with them,had a happy time with my lovely dad and mom;but now my life looks pale in this black striped uniform, I find myself curtailed within bars ,not the physical ones. I am alone,I am constrained.None likes the life in a prison,nor do I;but life has always played tricks with me and destiny always had the better of me.This time too it was no better.
Its been 6 days now , that I have been in remand in this prison.My case is due for hearing next Monday.I hope to get the bail,but I dont feel that would just not be the solution for everything,certain wounds never heal. Yesterday mom and dad had come,mom was all tears,she wanted to tell many things but she seemed to be short of words.Dad seemed to be as strong as always,but I know he was in a bitter state than my mom,atleast if he had cried, I couldnt see him carrying all this burden.This was never the place they wanted me to be in.Even I never wanted to be here, I dont deserve to be here,but again.....
We were friends since we knew what friendship was, from the kindergarten on through my professional education,we were together.There were no differences among us, in good times and bitter moments we stood together. We never told each other how much we trust and value each other coz our hearts conveyed it better than words.It was when I got into my college that I knew how important he was for me.My first proposal,the moment when she rejected it mercilessly and then when we fell in love and finally when our relation broke off,he stood in support with me .Even I was the mediator for setting up his love story.It was just not limited to romance issues,even incase of monetary terms and also during certain critical issues in college , he had stood with me.Friendship is about that invisible and invincible give and take and we were dealing it in the best way possible.
Our college is well known for gang wars.Pirates and Rockers have their own reasons for conflicts and only few of us happened to be away from such gangs and their business.Even there has been certain extreme violence issues in the past that took lives of a few students.Usually we are advised always to not move around in nights,either remain in hostel or at homes, coz if you are caught in between their dealings, maybe even you wont be spared.I still remember that cursed moment when we decided to go for a second show movie.It was the release day and so there would be many from the hostel too, so we hoped there wont be much issues.He had taken his bike and so we were assured of getting back to hostel without much delays.The movie was good and we really enjoyed.By the time we got out of the theatre,it was 12 in the night;but there were a lot of people and we were in no worries.But again troubles strike at just the right time and the bike just didnt seem to be ready for the ride.He and his bike,this was not the first time that their combination failed.It was a wonderful night and with lot of college guys to walk with,we decided we would have a walk along with the bike to the hostel.It was just 2 miles away and with so many people around,the distance was never an issue.
We started chatting over various things,gossips and all nonsense stuffs.It was then we heard a loud roar.We could see a bunch of bikes infact a dozen or more roaring and moving in towards us.It wasnt an unfamiliar scene.It was Pirates and we were sure that from the next few moments on, hell would be on earth.People around us started running all around,we were not in a position to leave the bike and run,but still we could somehow move out from their way.There was a hell lot of things happening somewhere near us,but we were away from their sight .It was getting hard for us to push our bike and move on.So I told him to just park the bike at the nearby house that we could see and pick it next morning.I stood at the road side when he went into the compound for safekeeping his bike for that night.
Within moments I could see a vehicle running in swiftly,I moved off the road and in the way,I found something was thrown out.I just ran out of curiosity to find what it was.I couldnt believe my eyes,it was my classmate who was lying in blood with a knife stabbed in his chest.Another victim of gang war,but he was never among such issues,whatever be,I could see he was still breathing,he was just moving around his hands near the stabbed chest.I knew the knife was taking it out of him,I quickly removed it off with a thought that he would be feeling better.But as soon as I took it off,he took in a long breath,his eyes widened and then there was that terrible silence.He was dead and I was in no man's land,perplexed and confused ,what to do next.Just then my friend came out of the compound running and I explained to him what had happened.He advised me not to hang around since even we would be involved in the issue.So we just dropped off the body there, and ran off from there.I was still in the shock,but the moment called for presence of mind.
Once I reached at hostel gates,I took off my shirt coz it had a dark shade of blood in it.We convinced ourselves that we had seen nothing and I moved in to his room and changed the shirt.All were back in the hostel rooms and in that tense situation none bothered to care to know why were we late.All were eager to know what would have happened that night.Even we were eager to know if anyone would have seen us.If that happens,I felt we were on the way of getting screwed up.May be our fate was waiting for a nasty twist that we wouldnt have had thought even in our nightmares.We were waiting for the dawn,the dawn that could decide our destiny.
Click here to continue
Its been 6 days now , that I have been in remand in this prison.My case is due for hearing next Monday.I hope to get the bail,but I dont feel that would just not be the solution for everything,certain wounds never heal. Yesterday mom and dad had come,mom was all tears,she wanted to tell many things but she seemed to be short of words.Dad seemed to be as strong as always,but I know he was in a bitter state than my mom,atleast if he had cried, I couldnt see him carrying all this burden.This was never the place they wanted me to be in.Even I never wanted to be here, I dont deserve to be here,but again.....
We were friends since we knew what friendship was, from the kindergarten on through my professional education,we were together.There were no differences among us, in good times and bitter moments we stood together. We never told each other how much we trust and value each other coz our hearts conveyed it better than words.It was when I got into my college that I knew how important he was for me.My first proposal,the moment when she rejected it mercilessly and then when we fell in love and finally when our relation broke off,he stood in support with me .Even I was the mediator for setting up his love story.It was just not limited to romance issues,even incase of monetary terms and also during certain critical issues in college , he had stood with me.Friendship is about that invisible and invincible give and take and we were dealing it in the best way possible.
Our college is well known for gang wars.Pirates and Rockers have their own reasons for conflicts and only few of us happened to be away from such gangs and their business.Even there has been certain extreme violence issues in the past that took lives of a few students.Usually we are advised always to not move around in nights,either remain in hostel or at homes, coz if you are caught in between their dealings, maybe even you wont be spared.I still remember that cursed moment when we decided to go for a second show movie.It was the release day and so there would be many from the hostel too, so we hoped there wont be much issues.He had taken his bike and so we were assured of getting back to hostel without much delays.The movie was good and we really enjoyed.By the time we got out of the theatre,it was 12 in the night;but there were a lot of people and we were in no worries.But again troubles strike at just the right time and the bike just didnt seem to be ready for the ride.He and his bike,this was not the first time that their combination failed.It was a wonderful night and with lot of college guys to walk with,we decided we would have a walk along with the bike to the hostel.It was just 2 miles away and with so many people around,the distance was never an issue.
We started chatting over various things,gossips and all nonsense stuffs.It was then we heard a loud roar.We could see a bunch of bikes infact a dozen or more roaring and moving in towards us.It wasnt an unfamiliar scene.It was Pirates and we were sure that from the next few moments on, hell would be on earth.People around us started running all around,we were not in a position to leave the bike and run,but still we could somehow move out from their way.There was a hell lot of things happening somewhere near us,but we were away from their sight .It was getting hard for us to push our bike and move on.So I told him to just park the bike at the nearby house that we could see and pick it next morning.I stood at the road side when he went into the compound for safekeeping his bike for that night.
Within moments I could see a vehicle running in swiftly,I moved off the road and in the way,I found something was thrown out.I just ran out of curiosity to find what it was.I couldnt believe my eyes,it was my classmate who was lying in blood with a knife stabbed in his chest.Another victim of gang war,but he was never among such issues,whatever be,I could see he was still breathing,he was just moving around his hands near the stabbed chest.I knew the knife was taking it out of him,I quickly removed it off with a thought that he would be feeling better.But as soon as I took it off,he took in a long breath,his eyes widened and then there was that terrible silence.He was dead and I was in no man's land,perplexed and confused ,what to do next.Just then my friend came out of the compound running and I explained to him what had happened.He advised me not to hang around since even we would be involved in the issue.So we just dropped off the body there, and ran off from there.I was still in the shock,but the moment called for presence of mind.
Once I reached at hostel gates,I took off my shirt coz it had a dark shade of blood in it.We convinced ourselves that we had seen nothing and I moved in to his room and changed the shirt.All were back in the hostel rooms and in that tense situation none bothered to care to know why were we late.All were eager to know what would have happened that night.Even we were eager to know if anyone would have seen us.If that happens,I felt we were on the way of getting screwed up.May be our fate was waiting for a nasty twist that we wouldnt have had thought even in our nightmares.We were waiting for the dawn,the dawn that could decide our destiny.
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April 4, 2008
Beyond expectations
I have heard people say love is eternal,just the sheer presence of feeling colour up your life.Even I was getting bored of the black and white frame.I wanted my life to be colorful, I wanted to be loved.Its been not so long that I have been searching for my source of this wonderful feeling. It all went futile until October 7th,when she came to me and said Hi.It was my first day at college,new friends ,new atmosphere and there was always a room for a novel relationship .Maybe I felt her special because she was the first among the lot to greet me.It was lust at first sight,I liked her moreover her attitude .She was very friendly and caring and in days, we became close friends.
Its an issue with almost guys that when a girl happens to be very close to them, most of the times, a misinterpretation is always in the air. I dont know how others take it,But I did want to believe that she loved me.I knew it was a mere reflection of my desire, but as always you are never ready to accept harder facts.I chose the thought that gave me what I was looking for,someone to care me,someone to love me.She was never into the midst of these thoughts.She was taking me as a good friend and I was acting that I was.I really was a good friend,but I needed much more affinity for which I had my own justifications,but I was always worried if my words would hurt her,if I would lose her company.Our so called friendship started to gain much more popularity among the people around us.They did doubt its transparency and thanks to my attitude, I was a friend to her and among others,I preferred to be heard as her sweet heart.Even she was getting intimidated with the gossips that finally she decided to break the ice.
Friday afternoons are all about getting into some "college business" with a long break of 2 hours as a catalyst.She came to me and told that she have had enough with the gossips going around, her words never convinced the people around her.She said,"even I have heard off late that you are having a feeling for me,I know you are not into this ,but I just cannot entertain such gossips;tel me how to be off this crap". I just told her to be calm and that everything would just settle down with time. Days passed and still the matter remained in the air,to be frank ,I really wanted it to be.Again she talked to me regarding this and it was a sterner voice now.I felt she was doubting my hand in the issue.She said,"I hope you are not having a hand in this things,but why dont you respond when our friends say that we are in love".I just kept mum.But as always,when I am concerned the unexpected always happens,I just picked up myself with all courage and said that I did have a feeling of her.Her reaction was never positive and I never expected it to be.She just rained me with words that was pelting hard on me.It was like I was a vilian of a bollywood movie and she was hero's mom.
She had broken "friendship" with me and it was hard for me to carry on.Our first year had passed and we are having a summer vacations.The horrible weather was far better than her absence.The college reopened after the exams and still there was no respite.She didnt even care to see that I was aching for her attention.
Its now nearly six months that I have talked to her and we were going to have our study vacation of the third sem exams.I couldnt take it more, as all my past attempts of talking to her through her friends had failed,I decided to put myself into the spotlight.I just stood on her way and asked her what was really going on with her.She said she just had no issues and just wanted to go.I told her,"Whats my sin ,I just opened my mind and told you frankly what was within me ,thats what you expect in every relationship and I was no different.You take it or not, I still do stand on what I said".I hoped to put an end to the dispute by saying sorry,but it was just a twist to the tail.I was making things worser,but I believed that better part of the story was yet to come.
It was fourth sem now and we had to interact among each other since we were department association members.It was all formal interaction and even I preferred the same.Time went on ,one more sem passed and now it was time for our class trip.We planned a 3 day trip and it was all fun.On the final day,we had camp fire and she just came to me with a smile.A smile after near about 2 years is worth more than a gem.We became friends again even though I always thought that she had a better script in mind.By the end of sixth sem ,most of us were placed and luckily both of us got placed in the same firm.We were getting closer and on the last day of march,she asked me,"What do you feel for me now",I said "I love you".She just smiled and went.I was starting to write my tale of love.
Now we knew we loved each other very much and it was now all about getting to know each other.I wanted her in my life and even she wished the same.Everything was fine,we were becoming inseparable and that did make more sense than that mere word.But again surprises always loved my company.She told that proposals were going on at her home.I came to know that she was of a different caste and that it would be hard to convince her parents about our relationship. May be it was my mistake that I didnt ask her caste,but even I never thought that could ever have been the issue.She gave a picture of an orthodox family and an Hilterish dad.Even my family was orthodox,It would be hard convincing them too.We had never thought about such practical issues before,love had made us blind.But now we had our eyes opened to a world of practicalities and too much realism that we couldnt take,there was no room for dreams and wishful thoughts.I had no guts to stand before her father coz,I was yet to settle down in life then how could I ever take up responsibility of taking her to my life. I was losing grounds,the flowery love tale was going to have a thorny end.Even she was feeling it now.Her words no longer had that passion that I was being served for almost an year now.But she was more hiding it rather than scraping it off from her heart.But she was not always successful in hiding her tears.
Next week she would be engaged to the software engineer from USA.I know I have lost her,but her love still remains warm in my heart.But I feel I should accept the fact that not all dreams come true.May be we are not born for each other.
The fan was rotating too fast for me too count its leaves.I just checked at my watch and it was almost 8.00 now.She came over with the tea.
"Heloooo are you not planning to wake up",she asked with a smile.
I was perplexed and she asked me the reason.
"No I was just thinking,had I not talked to your dad about our affair,what would have been the case",I asked with an anxiety of a small kid.
"Oh I wish!!, atleast I would have been saved",she laughed and me joined too."Well what made you think about it almost after nine months",she enquired.
"I think its that crap love story that I read last night in a blog,that just screwed up my brain,that idiot really spoiled my mood with that weird story".I replied scratching my head.She kept the tea on the table.I pulled back my blanket and this time she said,"Sunday doesnt mean that you sleep till noon,help me in the kitchen a bit". Well,I thought ,all love stories are tragedies. They end in death, departure...or marriage.
I replied with a smile,"I would surely help you,but first let me finish off my beautiful dream."
I am back to sleep to give a happy ending to what I expected could turn out into a tragedy,but as always surprises loved my company and the partnership still continues.
Its an issue with almost guys that when a girl happens to be very close to them, most of the times, a misinterpretation is always in the air. I dont know how others take it,But I did want to believe that she loved me.I knew it was a mere reflection of my desire, but as always you are never ready to accept harder facts.I chose the thought that gave me what I was looking for,someone to care me,someone to love me.She was never into the midst of these thoughts.She was taking me as a good friend and I was acting that I was.I really was a good friend,but I needed much more affinity for which I had my own justifications,but I was always worried if my words would hurt her,if I would lose her company.Our so called friendship started to gain much more popularity among the people around us.They did doubt its transparency and thanks to my attitude, I was a friend to her and among others,I preferred to be heard as her sweet heart.Even she was getting intimidated with the gossips that finally she decided to break the ice.
Friday afternoons are all about getting into some "college business" with a long break of 2 hours as a catalyst.She came to me and told that she have had enough with the gossips going around, her words never convinced the people around her.She said,"even I have heard off late that you are having a feeling for me,I know you are not into this ,but I just cannot entertain such gossips;tel me how to be off this crap". I just told her to be calm and that everything would just settle down with time. Days passed and still the matter remained in the air,to be frank ,I really wanted it to be.Again she talked to me regarding this and it was a sterner voice now.I felt she was doubting my hand in the issue.She said,"I hope you are not having a hand in this things,but why dont you respond when our friends say that we are in love".I just kept mum.But as always,when I am concerned the unexpected always happens,I just picked up myself with all courage and said that I did have a feeling of her.Her reaction was never positive and I never expected it to be.She just rained me with words that was pelting hard on me.It was like I was a vilian of a bollywood movie and she was hero's mom.
She had broken "friendship" with me and it was hard for me to carry on.Our first year had passed and we are having a summer vacations.The horrible weather was far better than her absence.The college reopened after the exams and still there was no respite.She didnt even care to see that I was aching for her attention.
Its now nearly six months that I have talked to her and we were going to have our study vacation of the third sem exams.I couldnt take it more, as all my past attempts of talking to her through her friends had failed,I decided to put myself into the spotlight.I just stood on her way and asked her what was really going on with her.She said she just had no issues and just wanted to go.I told her,"Whats my sin ,I just opened my mind and told you frankly what was within me ,thats what you expect in every relationship and I was no different.You take it or not, I still do stand on what I said".I hoped to put an end to the dispute by saying sorry,but it was just a twist to the tail.I was making things worser,but I believed that better part of the story was yet to come.
It was fourth sem now and we had to interact among each other since we were department association members.It was all formal interaction and even I preferred the same.Time went on ,one more sem passed and now it was time for our class trip.We planned a 3 day trip and it was all fun.On the final day,we had camp fire and she just came to me with a smile.A smile after near about 2 years is worth more than a gem.We became friends again even though I always thought that she had a better script in mind.By the end of sixth sem ,most of us were placed and luckily both of us got placed in the same firm.We were getting closer and on the last day of march,she asked me,"What do you feel for me now",I said "I love you".She just smiled and went.I was starting to write my tale of love.
Now we knew we loved each other very much and it was now all about getting to know each other.I wanted her in my life and even she wished the same.Everything was fine,we were becoming inseparable and that did make more sense than that mere word.But again surprises always loved my company.She told that proposals were going on at her home.I came to know that she was of a different caste and that it would be hard to convince her parents about our relationship. May be it was my mistake that I didnt ask her caste,but even I never thought that could ever have been the issue.She gave a picture of an orthodox family and an Hilterish dad.Even my family was orthodox,It would be hard convincing them too.We had never thought about such practical issues before,love had made us blind.But now we had our eyes opened to a world of practicalities and too much realism that we couldnt take,there was no room for dreams and wishful thoughts.I had no guts to stand before her father coz,I was yet to settle down in life then how could I ever take up responsibility of taking her to my life. I was losing grounds,the flowery love tale was going to have a thorny end.Even she was feeling it now.Her words no longer had that passion that I was being served for almost an year now.But she was more hiding it rather than scraping it off from her heart.But she was not always successful in hiding her tears.
Next week she would be engaged to the software engineer from USA.I know I have lost her,but her love still remains warm in my heart.But I feel I should accept the fact that not all dreams come true.May be we are not born for each other.
The fan was rotating too fast for me too count its leaves.I just checked at my watch and it was almost 8.00 now.She came over with the tea.
"Heloooo are you not planning to wake up",she asked with a smile.
I was perplexed and she asked me the reason.
"No I was just thinking,had I not talked to your dad about our affair,what would have been the case",I asked with an anxiety of a small kid.
"Oh I wish!!, atleast I would have been saved",she laughed and me joined too."Well what made you think about it almost after nine months",she enquired.
"I think its that crap love story that I read last night in a blog,that just screwed up my brain,that idiot really spoiled my mood with that weird story".I replied scratching my head.She kept the tea on the table.I pulled back my blanket and this time she said,"Sunday doesnt mean that you sleep till noon,help me in the kitchen a bit". Well,I thought ,all love stories are tragedies. They end in death, departure...or marriage.
I replied with a smile,"I would surely help you,but first let me finish off my beautiful dream."
I am back to sleep to give a happy ending to what I expected could turn out into a tragedy,but as always surprises loved my company and the partnership still continues.
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